August Update Vlog

Baby Steps, Baby.

When I was a teen, my dad said something to me that stuck like glue. “If you want something bad enough, you’ll work hard enough to get it.” I can’t even tell you how many goals this saying has helped me achieve.

So here is another goal, that my willpower is going to get me through to the end: Eat healthy for 30 days (September 20th). Since working out isn’t quite an option just yet for me, I’ll begin from the inside out.

This morning I’ve already started off right with a spinach, strawberry, blueberry and orange juice smoothie. My MIL and I made pre-packaged portions of these fruits and veggies for our freezer, so we are set for mornings. Later this morning at 10am, my husband and I are meeting with a friend for breakfast, and I’ve made a plan to order a fruit bowl. I know I can do this.

 

Baby steps, baby.

 

 

Oh, The Guilt

I can’t express how BADLY I want to be working out. My body yearns for it. What sucks is there is nothing I can do. This mono on top of my severe depression and anxiety just knocks me out. Since last night my desire to be doing P90X has been a burning flame within. How am I supposed to workout when I can hardly stay awake? Sitting at the computer being awake is painful enough. There has got to be a way.

Since my energy has been non-existent, my diet has been horrible. Not only am I self medicating with sugar, I haven’t been conscious at all about what I eat. My poor eating habits make me even more depressed. Not only is this simple guilt, but bad eating habits cause chemical reactions with your brain to cause poor mood.

Agh. Pray for me to have the willpower to eat better food, and to take better care of my body once again. I want to make myself proud, and right now, I’m the furthest thing from it.

Mono

I keep telling myself that I should start writing a blog entry. Even if it’s just rambling on. Anything to write another blog entry. My mind has been a crazy mess. So has my body.

Mono. I have it, and it sucks. There’s not much the doctors can do for me except to have me wait it out. With my depression I’m already really tired all the time. With mono it’s a struggle to be awake all. day. long. My doctors told me to simply let my body rest, but I refuse.

Lately I have been doing anything to keep me busy. I’m working hard with my etsy store, and it’s paying off. My store has been selling nearly every day. It’s such a rewarding feeling to be able to work from home. I also have some items in a local boutique, and refinished furniture in a consignment store. There is also a church that I’m having a blast doing some work for.

The catch here is that if I’m not doing anything, I’m super depressed. But by doing all this stuff, I have a ton of anxiety. I’d rather have anxiety than be depressed. At least I’m being productive, right? No way am I giving into this mono.