God has been working in our
lives so powerfully. It’s amazing what can happen when you let go and let God
do His thing. What’s that? It’s easier said than done? Yes. It certainly is.
There
is something I must admit: I am a glutton for reality television, especially
The Real Housewives of Orange County and Beverly Hills. This season of RHOBH
has been kind of a dud. A month after season 6 began I decided to give it
another chance. It was boring, but I let it play in the background.
In
one scene, a woman named Yolanda (who is suffering from Lyme disease) was
talking to one of her friends on a park bench. Kyle was expressing that she
could relate to being bedridden by an illness, and it made my ears perk. She
explained to Yolanda that when her mother died, she fell into a deep depression
and was in bed for a few years. She couldn’t do anything, including taking care
of her kids. Yolanda responded by telling her that our minds are so powerful
that when a traumatic event takes place, it can affect us physically.
I
have heard about that before. But this time was different. I think having a
bird’s eye view and watching those women go through their lives really put
things into perspective for me. It hit me like a ton of bricks. God spoke so clearly
to me that it was undeniable. I needed to see a counselor to help relieve
myself of chronic pain and fatigue.
My
experience with counselors, therapists, and psychologists is extremely negative.
The very first one I saw dismissed me and told me that what I was feeling was
“normal teenage emotions”. The others that followed only created more resistance
to open up my heart to another stranger. My husband has lovingly suggested that
I meet with a counselor at our church who could counsel me with a Godly
perspective. Even the several doctors that have been unable to diagnose my
chronic pain and fatigue suggested psychotherapy (doesn’t that sound
terrifying??). The thought of pouring everything out again made me sick, and I
put it off for years.
That
night God told me I was going. I knew I had no choice but to go. I immediately
emailed the head counselor at our church and set up an appointment to see her,
which made me feel relieved and scared at the same time.
There
was a lot of anxiety and emotions surrounding my first few meetings. The initial
one was a “meet and greet”, and the second meeting my husband attended with me
for support. It was the session that I once again poured my heart out, exposed my
past, fears, hurts and hopes to. I felt the Holy Spirit working in that room
with me, with my husband and with my new counselor. I spoke about things that I
have not spoken about and held in for years. At the end of the meeting, I felt
a huge weight lifted from my shoulders.
During
the next week, I used the “tools” my counselor gave me to work through the
current hurts I was letting go. What is incredibly wild is that during that
week my physical pain sky rocketed. My body was responding to the emotional
turmoil that I was resolving. My negative emotions that I was finally facing
were being translated into severe back muscle pain. The mind is so powerful. My
mind is so powerful. It was a shocking revelation.
There
is amazing power in how we think. That meeting was several months ago. And I am
slowly working on each thing; one at a time, that I believe is bearing weight
on me. What’s so tough about letting go? Letting go means feeling everything
that has been weighing you down. It’s terrifying. It’s too painful. No one
wants to revisit emotions that they’ve buried so deep in hopes to never see
again. No one wants to reopen and dissect wounds. When it comes to healing
though, it’s essential.
Thank you for sharing the post.
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