The Mind-Body Connection

God has been working in our lives so powerfully. It’s amazing what can happen when you let go and let God do His thing. What’s that? It’s easier said than done? Yes. It certainly is.

There is something I must admit: I am a glutton for reality television, especially The Real Housewives of Orange County and Beverly Hills. This season of RHOBH has been kind of a dud. A month after season 6 began I decided to give it another chance. It was boring, but I let it play in the background.

In one scene, a woman named Yolanda (who is suffering from Lyme disease) was talking to one of her friends on a park bench. Kyle was expressing that she could relate to being bedridden by an illness, and it made my ears perk. She explained to Yolanda that when her mother died, she fell into a deep depression and was in bed for a few years. She couldn’t do anything, including taking care of her kids. Yolanda responded by telling her that our minds are so powerful that when a traumatic event takes place, it can affect us physically. 

I have heard about that before. But this time was different. I think having a bird’s eye view and watching those women go through their lives really put things into perspective for me. It hit me like a ton of bricks. God spoke so clearly to me that it was undeniable. I needed to see a counselor to help relieve myself of chronic pain and fatigue.

My experience with counselors, therapists, and psychologists is extremely negative. The very first one I saw dismissed me and told me that what I was feeling was “normal teenage emotions”. The others that followed only created more resistance to open up my heart to another stranger. My husband has lovingly suggested that I meet with a counselor at our church who could counsel me with a Godly perspective. Even the several doctors that have been unable to diagnose my chronic pain and fatigue suggested psychotherapy (doesn’t that sound terrifying??). The thought of pouring everything out again made me sick, and I put it off for years. 

That night God told me I was going. I knew I had no choice but to go. I immediately emailed the head counselor at our church and set up an appointment to see her, which made me feel relieved and scared at the same time. 

There was a lot of anxiety and emotions surrounding my first few meetings. The initial one was a “meet and greet”, and the second meeting my husband attended with me for support. It was the session that I once again poured my heart out, exposed my past, fears, hurts and hopes to. I felt the Holy Spirit working in that room with me, with my husband and with my new counselor. I spoke about things that I have not spoken about and held in for years. At the end of the meeting, I felt a huge weight lifted from my shoulders. 

During the next week, I used the “tools” my counselor gave me to work through the current hurts I was letting go. What is incredibly wild is that during that week my physical pain sky rocketed. My body was responding to the emotional turmoil that I was resolving. My negative emotions that I was finally facing were being translated into severe back muscle pain. The mind is so powerful. My mind is so powerful. It was a shocking revelation.

There is amazing power in how we think. That meeting was several months ago. And I am slowly working on each thing; one at a time, that I believe is bearing weight on me. What’s so tough about letting go? Letting go means feeling everything that has been weighing you down. It’s terrifying. It’s too painful. No one wants to revisit emotions that they’ve buried so deep in hopes to never see again. No one wants to reopen and dissect wounds. When it comes to healing though, it’s essential.

Before First TMS Appointment

My very first TMS appointment is in less than an hour. My hair is greasy, my PJ's are still on, I haven't showered in two days, and I'm quite an emotional mess. Why am I freaking out so badly over this? Okay, that's a stupid question, because I know exactly why.

I'm afraid this won't work.

My mind is filled with all these "what-ifs". What if it hurts too bad? What if I get there and I can't stop crying? What if I can't make it in every day for 6 weeks? What if this is a big waste of money?

God, my all-powerful, almighty heavenly father, who created the heavens and the earth, who created ME, you can do ANTYHING. Nothing is too great of a task for you. I'm asking you to please let all these fears of mine vanish. Please don't let them control me. You have made it possible to do this treatment, and I'm trusting that you won't let this treatment go in vain. Please, God. Please comfort me right now. Hold me in your arms. I need you so badly.

Amen.