Easter Pity Party

Most commercials that I have seen lately suck, but there are definitely a few that make me laugh. You may have seen the Geico commercial about a man who can't afford to join a weight loss program, so he hires three middle school girls who watch his every move and famously say "Ew. Seriously? So gross."

Well, those are my exact thoughts when it comes to vegetables. I hate 'em. For as long as I can remember, I have been a picky eater. Even to this day I'll avoid serving myself a scoop of vegetables to go with my salmon or baked chicken. For about a week now I have been making smoothies, trying to sneak whatever veggies in there I can. You could literally throw a fresh cat turd in the blender, serve me a glass, and I my response would still be "Mmm! Vegetables!".

This method of "plug-nose-and-chug" is way easier than confronting a mighty mound of carrots and spinach on my plate knowing it must be eaten. Even though my depression is still the same, my body does feel different. It feels cleaner, and less bloated. I'm slowly getting closer to the mindset that food is fuel, which is something I desire very deeply to have engraved forever in my brain.

What I am struggling with this Easter season, however, is candy. It's gorgeous. The colorful foil wrappers and cute chocolate bunnies that have an entire isle of their own in every grocery store. Easter has always been a celebration of Jesus' resurrection, but deep down inside, I look forward to the sinful treats that I get to stuff my face with until I'm sick. Today I was having a pity party, to the point of tears.

I was nearly crying over the fact that I can't over-indulge in candy this year, or maybe ever again.

Seriously.

This sugar addiction has got to stop! I don't want to be emotional over the fact that over-consuming gooey chocolately Cadburry eggs is wrong. Honestly, when I think about never eating another dessert again, I feel like life wouldn't have the same quality, and that celebrations won't be as joyous. Why does restricting junk food feel like I'm restricting my life? Why does sugar have this much power over my emotions? Have I always had this problem?

Wow. I need help.