Pushing Through the Tears

Working out is hard. Working out with depression is harder. Working out, with depression, on a bad emotional day, is the worst.
This morning I became really sick. Unfortunately, my lactose intolerance has become really bad again. When I wake up too early (before the sun is fully up) I get really bad anxiety. Don't ask me why; I couldn't tell you. But I began to question myself. "Why am I working out? What's the point? I just want to be comfortable again and cuddle in my bed all day. Do I really care that much about having muscles?"
After a few more hours of sleep I stopped those thoughts dead in their tracks. This is for ME. This is to PROVE to myself that I AM STRONG and that I AM WORTH IT. I'm worth every bead of sweat, every shakey muscle, every grunt, every tear. And although I still felt so emotional, I busted out 40 minutes of weight training, and went on my 1.2 mile walking route with Toby. I cried during and at the end of both. Even 5 minutes into my walk I almost turned around, but I knew that would make me feel worse. Even at this moment I want to cry, but now I think it's because I'm proud of myself.
If you don't have depression, or any physical disorder and have the time, you have no excuse not to make the body you have always wanted. I don't want to hear it. Don't you dare tell the person who struggles to get out bed, struggles to take showers and brush her teeth, who has to keep reminding herself that life is worth it, who still manages to workout every day that you just can't do it. Because you can. You are stronger than you know. Push yourself outside of your comfort zone and you will see. YOU ARE WORTH IT.