Oh Boy

I must admit, that I have not worked out since my last blog entry. My new anti-d's have a nasty side effect of weight gain, so I'm up 8 pounds. Blow to my confidence. In addition, I have turned to desserts to make me feel better. Then, when I look at the empty cup of ice cream, or the cookie crumbs left on my plate, my emotions take an even steeper turn. After only two weeks, I summoned the courage to step on the scale. The number makes sense. My pants hurt to wear, and I can no longer suck in my gut.  This is the heaviest I have ever been.

This morning, however, I realized that I CAN get back on track to eating healthy. My frozen blueberries and grapes were a wonderful way to wake up. I forgot how delicious they are, and how good they make me feel. Struggling with clinical depression and lack of energy while trying to exercise is like trying to mix oil and water. But I can do this. There are too many stories of people who were actually obese lose all their extra weight. My journey isn't as long as theirs. I can't give up. I won't give up.