Battles

On my way home from the post office this afternoon, I decided to stop at Safeway to grab some Ben and Jerry's ice cream. The oatmeal cookie one. The one that makes you salivate just thinking about it. The one that takes away your sorrow for just a while. It sounded so good, and the grocery store was just across the street from where I had purchased stamps (which, by the way, have gone up an entire penny today). A battle with myself began as I approached the traffic light. Go straight and head home with the victory of not giving in to sweet temptation? Or turn left and tell myself that I will start eating healthy tomorrow?

I turned left.

As I was driving through the parking lot, my eyes caught sight of a sign that read "Total Nutrition" right next to Safeway. For about a month now, I have been contemplating buying "diet" pills, or appetite suppressants. My anti-depressants have made me gain 8 pounds. My doctor says it's a side affect of Seroquel XR, because it makes you crave carbs. But my smarts always kick in and tell me how stupid of an idea diet pills are. The entire foundation of me not working out is energy, and my vitamin B pills just don't do their job. I found a parking spot and turned off the car. I sat there, in the driver's seat for a few seconds. Safeway? Or this mysterious "get muscles here" store? I craved the sweet victory much more than the temporary safety net of Ben and Jerry's, so I walked in the direction of the muscle store.

"Who am I going to run into? What if it's a beautiful skinny chick at the counter who judges me? Are there going to be a bunch of buff guys in there?"

Honestly, I was terrified. So much that my palms began to sweat in the midst of our freezing January. As I walked into the tiny store. Everything seemed black. There might have even been purple lights? I'm not sure. There was a buff guy behind the counter talking to a skinny woman who had just purchased alkaline water. Three gallons to be exact. They chatted for another minute or so until the woman left. He then turned to me. "What brings you in today?" asked the buff man. It was obvious I have never been in there before, or any other nutrition store. There I was, in an over-sized sweatshirt, jeans and tennies, with my uncontrollably curly locks tied back in a bun and wearing black-rimmed glasses. "I need energy."

After what seemed like 10 minutes of him explaining how the body and energy function together using a hundred metaphors, he showed me a powder called Alkalinity Fuel. Yum. It dented my wallet $37. While we were talking, another buffy walked in and sat down, waiting for buffy #1 so he can buy what I'm assuming is a truck load of muscle powder. Buffy #2 told me to give it at least a week, and then I'll want to take it every morning because I will love the amount of energy I get. I hope these guys are right. As I was leaving, I told them I'd be back in a month with a verdict. It better be a good one.

Alkalinity Fuel by Nutracore Nutrition

When will I tell my husband? We don't exactly have a lot of money, especially not for extras. Maybe when he notices that I have energy. That way he won't be so mad when he sees the positive effect is has on me. Hopefully.

Cheers

This feels a little cliche. I'm creating a blog at the beginning of a new year because I feel inspired to write about my journey to a healthier life. Well, I'm not banking on having any readers, considering the thousands of blogs already written. This one is for me. If you happen to read it, then I hope in some way you become inspired -whether it be to eat a super delicious cookie or go on a sunny walk.

I have always felt that our life should not be lived without a written record, only to have a few memorable moments out of each year. Instead I have journaled as much of my 23 years of life as often as I could. Nearly each age of mine has been physically logged since I was 6 years old. It began with a Hello Kitty diary I received as a Christmas present from my cousin Gaby. That book, along with about five others, are safely tucked away in our garage. Once in a few years, I'll even pull out my journals and read them all the way through. It's a personal novel. Marveling at my accomplishments and understanding where I learned my most important life lessons are something that could not be possible without my journaling. All the little occurrences that make up the big picture are what I strive to remember, and this year is no different.

Cheers to a new year, and a new journal.