Vlog Monday

Be Strong

I am the most athletically challenged person I know. Some people who weigh 2-3 times as much as I do are in more shape than I am. Carrying in groceries, standing up from sitting on the floor and even standing up for long periods of time are just a few things that have been difficult for me. My six years of major clinical depression are to blame for my physical incapabilities.

Any person that has experienced depression knows how hard it is to have to claw and fight your way out of that deep dark hole continuously just to continue breathing. Anyone who can withstand depression, let alone for multiple years, and still be alive today is STRONG. Not letting depression suck you into its depths and keep you there means that you are a FIGHTER.  Anyone with a strong enough mindset to not have committed suicide during a horrible mental illness can GET THROUGH ANYTHING.

"Where there is a will, there is a way."

You can do it. You have the capability to push yourself on a daily basis and move your body. It is by no means easy. In fact it may be that furthest thing from it. Whether it be P90X, another Beachbody workout, or any other physical activity that you chose, you are capable. It's all mental.

Now there are some exceptions, such as knee or back injuries, but the Internet is a glorious thing. There are many low-impact workouts out there. People are so creative in finding ways around obstacles that stand in the way between them and being healthy. Don't let anything stand in YOUR way. I'm not letting anything stand in mine.

P90X 30 Day Weigh-In

Today was the day I have been fearing all week. Because I missed three days in a row of working out, I was afraid it would affect my weigh-in. In all honesty, I wasn't expecting my body to change at all. After I took my photos, I was a little shocked. Change is so gradual you don't feel it until you take a step back and look at the whole picture. I contemplated whether or not to post this photo. This is called Deb's Fitness Journey, not Deb's Fitness Results where I only show you my body when I'm all done. This is the real deal.
So here it is, my 30 day P90X weigh-in. It's almost embarrassing, but I told myself I'd share the nitty gritty throughout this journey.. I wish I could blame Seroquel XR for making me gain so much weight, but before I began that medication my emotional eating was already out of control.

 

Weird right? Maybe it's only weird to me. Who sees this kind of perspective of their body every day? The mirror behind my bedroom door sure didn't show me this. All I did was push myself through every exercise. In NO way was this a simple challenge. The last month has been one of the hardest 30 days I've faced. On top of dragging myself out of bed, I had to push myself to move. I hate moving. My bed was my best friend, but now I'm not so sure any more. More and more am I realizing it's my enemy. The thought of staying in it all day feels so right, but actually being in it feels so wrong.

I'm not even sure why I decided to do P90X. Turbo Jam works perfectly fine. Maybe I figured if I'm going to torture myself, I might as well go all out. Well... this sure is an all out torture, but the best one EVER.