Another blessing is that I was able to watch movies, which is what I'm focusing on to not think about the hard tapping sensation on my head. Needless to say, I watched more movies than I cared to for the entire year of 2012.
As you can see, I look worn out. That was (well, still is) a daily thing, and my sessions were every day at 11:30 am. I can't stand to watch this video. My ears literally translates the sound of the tapping into pain. Ugh. So glad I'm done.
For some reason the video won't embed, so you can follow this link to see it :)
Overall, I'd give my TMS experience a B-. I think it helped my medications work better, and helped me get into a little routine which I wasn't used to before. And even though I'm tired as heck all the time, I'm finally able to fight against sleeping all day. I also get really antsy now when I'm not doing little projects.
I gave it a B- because of it's extremely high price, and the procedure itself was very emotional for me because of the pain I had to endure. Not. Fun. One. Bit.
Katie, the TMS tech who worked with me every day was great. It was so nice to have someone my age going through this process with me. She seemed to feel very sympathetic towards my uncomfortable sessions. I'd definitely choose her all over again. Thank you for everything, Katie! You're amazing!
Here is a log I kept for most of my sessions. I didn't finish through the 30 sessions, plus the few tapering sessions at the end. It became pretty redundant once it felt like a routine and nothing was changing. I hope this gives enough insight to those looking into TMS. If you have any questions I'd be very happy to answer them for you. Ask away!
TMS TREATMENTS
Wednesday, April 4 - DAY
1: My treatment started on a Wednesday. Setting the machine to my settings
wasn’t too bad. The treatment itself, however, was painful. I cried the entire
time while watching some “under the sea” video with horrible music. I continued
to cry for about an hour after my treatment as well. It must have been anxiety,
dwelling on the fact that I would have to leave the house every day to do this
treatment that hurts. One day at a time.
Thursday, April 5 - DAY
2: This day went by a lot faster. I brought my favorite movie, What About
Bob, with me. Towards the end of my session, I was pretty nauseous from the
pain in my head. Or maybe it was the cinnamon gum disintegrating between my
clenched jaws. Even though the treatment felt like it took forever, it seemed a
bit faster than day 1.
Friday, April 6 - DAY
3: Much better. What I’m noticing is that the last 5 minutes or so of my
treatment is that my left nostril begins to burn when I breathe in. As soon as
I’m in the car the burning seems to disappear. I wonder if this is associated
with the magnetic coil being placed on the left side of my skull. This day I
finished What About Bob.
Monday - April 9 -DAY
4: Today is Monday, and Katie is now doing my treatments (before it was Marie).
Actually, I think she started doing them on Friday. She is really nice. We
found out today that it’s ok to have slightly wet hair while doing the
treatment. I watched the beginning of Blue Crush, which was my favorite movie
as a teenager. The pain was much more
tolerable today. Maybe I’m just getting used to it. I had the nose burning
again today. I had tons of energy for the rest of the day. Felt sort of
normal-ish again.
Tuesday, April 10 - DAY
5: Today wasn’t so bad. I watched more of Blue Crush. I’m beginning to tell
when the treatment is almost over because of the overwhelming burning sensation
in my left nostril. It’s so weird Breathing through the pulses is becoming much
easier, and I’m also able to keep my eyes open through it a little better.
Today I’m really depressed and lethargic - the opposite of yesterday.
Wednesday, April 11 -
DAY 6: Today a different technician took care of me instead of Katie. WHAT
A NIGHTMARE. This treatment was just as bad if not worse than day 1. The pulses
felt as though they were hitting my temple and not the usual spot, and they
were very sharp and not dull. The entire time I was contemplating whether or
not to leave immediately. As soon as treatment was done I ripped out of the
machine. There was no way I could wait a second longer to have the tech remove
the coil, lower the chair & un-tape me.
Thursday, April 12 - DAY
7: WHEW! Katie is back. Thank God. My breathing is 100% easy now during the
magnetic pulses, and I can even keep my eyes open as well. This session also
went by really quickly. I am still getting a burning sensation on my head and
in my left nostril during the last five minutes. It’s like clockwork. Today I
started Kicking and Screaming. Love it.
Thursday, April 19 - Day
12: Had a panic attack during treatment. I was begging to go home but my
husband helped to calm me down.
Tuesday, April 24 - Day
15: Woohoo! I am now half way through treatment. There is nothing new to
report. It’s the same thing every day with a different movie.
Wednesday, April 25 -
DAY 16: Increased prescription from 3,700 pulses to 4,500 pulses
Tuesday, May 1 - DAY
20: Increased prescription from 4,500 pulses to 4,800 more pulses. I am now
in the chair for an hour. Half-way through my session I take a tiny break from
the coil to relieve the “hot” sensation on my scalp. It helps a lot, and makes
the rest of my session a little more comfortable. I can’t tell if TMS is
working or not. I don’t know… if anything my fight against depression is a
little stronger. I have been able to avoid being in bed which has been
difficult, to say the least.
