June Is Here!!!

Why is this exciting? There's a few reasons. One: It's my favorite month of the year. Summer is almost here and it meant summer break as a kid. Two: It's my anniversary month. My husband and I married on June 7th four years. We usually do something fun every year, and this year we are going to Sacramento to Water World with his sister and her husband. And I get to see old friends and my sister whom I haven't seen in years! Needless to say, next weekend is going to be a blast. And three: I get to weigh myself after 6 weeks of not knowing my weight.

At the end of April I promised to not weigh myself until June 1st after not stepping on the scale for about a week already. It has been so great not knowing my weight! Us women tend to obsess over the number the scale flashes at us. I have been telling myself "Today I feel like I weigh XXX." And so it would be, because I believed it. In a way I made my own reality with how much I weighed, and I have to say it has been freeing.

This morning I woke up, excited to know the true number that my body weighs. When I stepped on the scale I was shocked, to say the least. I had lost 10 pounds. Now, I did have the stomach flu for the first half of May, but I also didn't start eating healthy again until this Monday. What I'm afraid happened was that I lost all the muscle I built during P90X, and instead of being happy that I lost 10 pounds, I'm pretty sad about it.

Now, I could go measure myself, but I'm not sure how much good that would do. If I did lose muscle then wouldn't my measurements still show a loss in inches? I'm unsure. But I'll do it anyway. In fact, I'll go do it now.

My arms are the same, however, I lost a total of 3.4 inches. Once inch from my chest, 1 inch from my waist, 1 inch from my hips, and .2 inches from each thigh. Because I gained weight and inches from not doing P90X, I am now back to where I was when I last did P90X, only lighter with less muscle. Happy and sad at the same time. My ultimate goal is to be very toned, not fit into certain size jeans.

What are your fitness goals?

Love My Summer

I cannot even begin to tell you how deep my love for Summer is. When this season begins to approach, I become anxious for the sun's rays to warm my skin that is glistening with lake water. Nothing compares to being in the midst of God's beauty at Whiskeytown Lake. You hear nothing. You smell everything. The feeling of freedom consumes me when I'm in the clear blue water. Nature surrounds you with it's most brilliant blue and green hues.

When I'm there, I am not depressed. There are no feelings of the burning sadness running down my chest that burdens me on a daily basis. For a few blissfull hours, I'm free. The simple thought of being at the lake brings me relief of experiencing those feelings that oppose the darkness in my life.

Everyone has their Summer. What is yours?

Summer 2010 - My husband, Matthew, and I

Summer 2010 - Sis-N-Law Katie, Brother Jason, Me, Husband Matthew

Summer 2010 - Brother Jason, Sis-N-Law Katie, Me, Husband Matthew

The Power Within a Small Gift

My body is so heavy with fatique. I'm afraid that what I'm getting out of my workouts is very little because I have only been puting in half as much effort as before. Energy has been out of my reach for a while now. It's the worst feeling. Imagine being stuck in the dreamworld and you want to wakeup, but you can't. You're screaming inside so your body can hear you to snap out of your dream with no avail. I'm trapped in my body. My mind is awake but my body isn't.

I haven't left the house since last week, and I have no desire to. It doesn't help that the weather has been so wet and gloomy. My emotions seem to mimic the weather. When the sun is out and the sky is blue, my mood is better. Not perfect, but better. When the weather is dark, my emotions seem to take a dive. Thankfully I live in the second most sunniest city in the United States: Redding, CA. I love the sun. Summer is my favorite season. Often I find myself day dreaming about floating on a blow-up raft, with my glistening skin reflecting the sunrays while soaking up it's warmth. I live for those days. June can't come soon enough.

A few days ago I became inspired to add a tab to my blog with my bucket list (still in the process of doing). My life list began when I was about 15, and in one of my older journals is a long list of things I wanted to do or become before I left this earth. While going through my pile of journals to find this list, I came across the Hello Kitty diary I mentioned in my very first blog post on Deb's Fitness Journey. Since I received this diary for Christmas 1996, I have not stopped writing about every event in my life.

Nearly each age of mine has been physically logged since I was 6 years old. I have always felt that our life should not be lived without a written record, only to have a few memorable moments out of each year. Instead I have journaled as much of my 24 years of life as often as I could. I thought it would be special to share this journal with you that inspired my passion for writing, so here it is :)

Although the date reads1997, it was in fact 1996. The following year of writing took place in 1997 at 9 years old :)