Anxiety Up The Wazoo

Today I was on the verge of an anxiety attack. I felt that if I saw or spoke to anyone I would burst out in tears. On my way to my friend's house to drop something off, I began to ask myself a series of questions that sometimes helps.
* Am I going to die? No.
* Am I being forced to do something I don't want to? No.
* Did someone say something hurtful to me? No.
* Is something bad about to happen? No.
Seriously, why did I feel like crying? I was going to a bunco party but ended up canceling because my anxiety was getting out of control. But even after I knew I didn't have to go, I still felt like crying uncontrollably. It never makes sense. Anxiety never does. I'm glad I was driving, because when I do I am able to see God's amazing artwork that surrounds me where I live.

Redding is beautiful. When I moved here, I didn't plan to stay long, but now I never want to leave. Seeing the snow covered mountains that ascend from dark to light colors are a breathtaking view that even after 5 years, I do not take for granted.

View of Mt. Shasta

Sundial Bridge

And my favorite - Whiskeytown Lake <3

Even at this moment though, I still have anxiety. Some of it has to do with the fact that I haven't worked out in two days. In my defense (against my own mind) I am menstruating. Now remember I hardly have any energy to begin with. So for the past two days I have been sleeping. Being awake hurts. It doesn't help that my father-in-law brought home more deliciousness.

Someone please tell my father-in-law to hide his stash in his room. Please.

See what I'm dealing with here? Months ago he bought criss-cut fries in bulk, and those are so easy to pop in the air cooker. Why is eating healthy so hard? Why is sugar so addicting? This fitness journey is getting harder by the day. And I have to admit, that the beautiful orange square on the 29th of February was filled in before I worked out. I had every intention to do Kenpo X. Honest. My body hasn't done any working out since Monday. Ugh. It does NOT feel good. Tony I miss you. Energy needs to come in a magic pill that I can take once and I'll forever be an energizer bunny. Please pray for me.